hi, well i havent been in here in about 3 years, i had completely forgotten i had an account. i hope everyone has been well. My twins Dominic and Nathaniel will be 4 in october, i cannot believe how quickly time has flown felt like just yesterday they came into this world. I have also since had another son Gabriel Liam who will be 2 in december.

the main reason for me coming back on here is that my husband athen and i are desperate to try for baby number 4 and hopefully a little girl, as much as i love my boys i would love a girl to do some girly things with as my boys all want to do things with daddy. i usually wouldnt have any hesitation in trying for baby number 4 now but my youngest son Gabe has CF (cystic fibrosis) and i worry by having another baby while he is still a toddler it could be unsettling for the family as gabe is in and out of hospital often and has a strict medication schedule and i worry that although we would still be able to give the baby lots of love and attention that they may feel a little isolated growing up as the twins are very close and Gabe is always busy with appointments, medications etc. so pretty much im wondering what age you recommend we try without the baby growing up to live in their older brother's shadow.
we ensure that if Gabe is sick or in hospital that the twins still spend a lot of time with mum and dad, but they also understand that sometimes Gabe needs a little more attention because his lungs arent working properly (simplest terms to explain CF to 3 year olds.

any advice or suggestions on this topic would be great as my husband and i are a bit lost on when the right time to try would be.

I'd say if you feel like you are ready and your husband agrees then go with your gut on the timing. There are always going to be a million reasons not to do something. But you have to figure out the reasons that make trying for another baby important to you. It sounds like you are conflicted, and for good reasons. Someone once showed me a method for making tough decisions and this worked well for me: take 3 days and do something different for each day: Day 1- Go with the mindset that you are definitely going to try for another baby soon. And record how you feel about that decision at several points during the day. Day 2= Do the opposite of day 1, deciding to wait for another baby, and again record your thoughts and feelings. Day 3- Go over the notes you made on how yo felt on both days and compare them. Which day did you feel the most at ease with your decision? Which day were you more apprehensive about it? The answers you come up with might surprise you. I wish you and your family all the luck in the world And keep us updated!

Hey,
we have a very similar story. My youngest son, Elijah has cf, I also have twins (girls though) that don't have cf as well as 4 other healthy children. Can you pm or something? I am very interested in hearing your story.
Also my husband and I have began meeting with a genetic counselor just in case we do happen to have another child what would be the outcome. I suggest you do the same. Did you and the baby's father have genetic testing done on your family as well as yourselves?

Thanks for your advice i will sit down with my husband tomorrow morning to tell him about this idea and we can possibly start it the day after. we have also done some pro's and con's of having another baby. we both feel we as a family are ready to welcome a new member within the next year or so but just worry about what impact my son's condition will have on the newborn and how changing the dynamics may impact his health and also the risks of having another cf child.

Nellieag i will pm you. thanks glad to hear there is someone with similar stories, we have become close with a few other cf families but none really relate to us as their cf child is either eldest and they waited 3-4 years before having more or the child is youngest and for the odd family when they are second born there is 8 years between the oldest and them and then 4 and 8 years between them and their siblings.


thanks both for your help. i shall let you know what our outcome is.