okay so i am needing some advice on how to talk to my hubby about having another baby, so here's my story...

We have an almost 6 month old son, and have tried to talk to hubby about having a second baby (not in the immidiate future) I would like a age gap of about 2 - 2 1/2 yrs if possible but hubby seems un-willing to talk to me about it all i can get from him is "I am happy with this one" I have always wanted a some what large family and i have never not told him he knew b4 we got married.

Thing is hubby never really wanted children, but know he has one he thinks it is great and loves his son very much.... our son was a planned baby, as hubby and came up with a compramise and that was to take it as it come and discuse the issue again after baby #1

I dont know what to do i dont want to sound like a nagging wife of force him to have another baby, but i would be extreamly hurt if he wouldnt even consider it, as he knew where i stood on this issuse.

PLEASE HELP

I just now saw this post. Sorry if my response is too late.

I would wait to talk to your husband. You said that you didn't even want another child for approx 2 yrs, so why talk about it now? It's really not an appropriate time since your son is only 6 months old. Your son (and everthing that entails) is very fresh in your husband's mind. Wait at least a year, then have "the talk" when things have settled down a bit. Sounds like you've got a great guy for him to have planned a pregnancy with you when he didn't want children at all. He must love you and respect your wishes very much. Show him the same kindness, and remember...you knew where he stood on this issue when you married him.

well thing is i was looking at not waiting 2 yrs but looking at that as an age gap between children...... at the time when we talked about children(before we married) we where young and it wasnt that he had made up his mind he NEVER wanted them it was more he was UN SURE as I was only 19 and he was 21.

in late 07 i had a smear which came back wrong, I was sick at the time and they thought this was the reason why i had to wait 6 months and have another only thats one came back wrong too then another 6 months later I had another and again that was wrong it was at this point my local doctor refered me to a specialist having done another smear I wes told I had CIN III which is an abnomality of the cells in my cervix and the last stage before cancer (if left untrearted would not end good)

it was at that point with a lot of thought talking to my husband and doctor I have decided to have my children young so that i can have a hystarectamy, so that it does not happen again, io dont want to have kids only to get sick and then not be there for them and my doctor agrees it is the right thing to do as i am at a high risk and with each pregnacey/labour i run the risk of it returning because of all the hormones and changes to my body...

I was given the all clear after my little man was born and i now no longer need to have a smear every 6 months now it is every 12.... I have mentioned the subject to my husband and he has not said no, and i love and respect him very much and yes i did now where he stood, but i did say to him before we where married if having children was not something he could consider then we would not work and the ball was in his court.... he chose to stay there for he chose to consdier having children with me, i dont want to push it or force it....

he has said he is happy with 1 but I have always wanted 3 I think that there should maybe be a compremise between us... meet in the middle.....

Wow! So happy that the dysplasia is not progressing and your only having yearly check-ups. I've had cancer (lymphoma) and I'm still doing the 6 month checkups. I'm not complaining...at least it's not every 3 months!

Anyway, I guess what I was trying to say was don't tempt fate. It sounds like your relationship with your husband is going very well, and fortunately you were able to have a healthy baby that your husband loves without any complications to your health. I understand you wanted more children, but it could be that God sent you this man because of your circumstances. How bad would it be if your husband was counting on a large family that it's obvious would not be a good idea because of your health issues. I'm sure the guilt would probably eat you alive. I know you don't realize, nor appreciate it now, but your extremely fortunate that your husband is content with the one child you have. There's no need to jeopardize your health with another pregnancy. I promise you that you don't want to have to tell your child you have cancer (let alone tell two), and you don't want to wonder if you're going to be around to see them graduate from college, get married, and have children of their own. That's my life right now, and I'd hate to have it be yours too.

Even though our situations aren't exactly the same, I've been through something similar with a previous husband, and my son from a previous marriage. So, please, don't be offended as I only have your best interests at heart. I just don't want you to end up getting your way at the expense of alienating your husband. You've got so much more to loose now than just a boyfriend. Your health is at risk, and you have a child to think about, also.

So...all I'm saying is think about it, pray about it, and talk with your husband about it. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Blessings to you and yours,
Angel

You have time to work this out with hubs. If your baby is 6 months now, you have another 6-9 months before you even think about getting preggo (to maintain the age gap and allow adequate time for your body to recover). If you want another child at that time, and he has said let happen what may, then you tell him you are going to stop any method of prevention and put it in God's hands.

My doctor has told me that I will be fine to have children, I had the abnormal cells over 2 yrs ago and everything was fine at my check-up after our little man was born, I was told that if there was going to be any changes we would see them in that pap smear, due to the trauma of giving birth, hormones ect......

I am not putting myself at a higher risk by having more children, I have just opted that once i am done having children I want a hystarectamoy because that is the only way to say with 100% certainty that it wont come back.....

also how i stated in the first post about my husband not being sure if he wanted children, then reply "and remember...you knew where he stood on this issue when you married him"
in saying that he knew where I stood, I told him if he didnt want to have children (no more than 3 but more than 1) then i could not be with him and marry him as I said it was not fair for me to not have what i want becuase it is not what he wants and it is not fair for me to push him intop something that he does not want and the ball was in his court, he chose to stay with me and still marry me so in my mind that was him saying that he was willing to consider have numerous children, only to tell me later that he is really wanting childre but will give me one, then come out and say "I dont even want 2 kids you are NOT having 3"

had absoluty devistated me and i just dont know what to do.