This is the second time I have posted this question as I didnt really get the help I was looking for the first time around so I really hope there is someone out there who can help me

okay so i am needing some advice on how to talk to my hubby about having another baby, so here's my story...

We have an almost 6 month old son, and have tried to talk to hubby about having a second baby (not in the immidiate future) I would like a age gap of about 2 - 2 1/2 yrs if possible but hubby seems un-willing to talk to me about it all i can get from him is "I am happy with this one" I have always wanted a some what large family and i have never not told him he knew b4 we got married.
i did say to him before we where married if having children was not something he could consider then we would not work and the ball was in his court.... he chose to stay there for he chose to consdier having children with me, i dont want to push it or force it....

he has said he is happy with 1 but I have always wanted 3 I think that there should maybe be a compremise between us... meet in the middle.....
he knew where I stood, I told him if he didnt want to have children (no more than 3 but more than 1) then i could not be with him and marry him as I said it was not fair for me to not have what i want becuase it is not what he wants and it is not fair for me to push him intop something that he does not want and the ball was in his court, he chose to stay with me and still marry me so in my mind that was him saying that he was willing to consider have numerous children, only to tell me later that he is really wanting childre but will give me one, then come out and say "I dont even want 2 kids you are NOT having 3"

this has absoluty devistated me and I have felt like I am in a state of depression at the moment. I know I should be grateful that we have a son and believe me I am, I love and adore my son more than anything in the world (well along with hubby lol) But I am not just thinking of myself when I say I want another baby I also want my son to havae a little brother/sister i just loved having siblings growing up and even now as an adult I am glad I have... I just dont know what to do.

You're little boy is 6 months give it time! Wait until he gets older and your husband is able to interact with him more, he may want another child.

Yes I think there should be a compromise between the two of you but your husband is going to have to be willing to compromise. My boyfriend wants a whole football team of children and I only wanted one but we've agreed it wasn't fair to him nor I and have agreed upon trying for a second one in August. That will be our last (unless we have another "oopsy baby" like Sophie)

Honestly though right now I wouldn't bother him about having another child when your son is so little if he says he doesn't want one. I'd wait until your son's 1st birthday and then casually mention it. But he tells you no way in bloody hell will he have another child then you are going to have to deal with it as harsh as that sounds.

I agree with Gracie, I'm sorry that this is hurting you so much right now, but I think you're pushing this a bit too early.

Raising an infant baby, while fun and exciting, is extremely hard and can be very overwhelming to new parents - especially to someone who never pictured himself being a parent at all. This stage is the only thing your husband has experienced, so it's really not surprising to me that he feels this way.

I would suggest that you completely drop the subject for several months. Let your husband enjoy and get to know your son before making him consider having other children. That kind of pressure - on top of the added pressure of new-parenthood - is probably overwhelming to him.

Wait several more months before casually bringing up the topic again.

I do agree that there has to be some compromise here. If you want more children that badly, I don't think it's something you should (or could) drop altogether... but I really can see it from his POV. Give him time, let him enjoy being a daddy to your son for now!

Good luck!

I'd suggest waiting until your little boy is 2 1/2 years old, then begin discussing baby #2 with your husband.
Let your little boy be your one and only concern until he is 2 1/2 then he and Daddy will be more acceptable to your proposal of a new baby.
I believe having children 3 to 4 years apart is best for everyone-Mom, Dad and the siblings. It gives each child time to be the "baby" and to have their own "special bonding time" with Mommy before having to share with a sibling their Mommy's attention.
Also, when a child gets to be 3 years old and older they want to be more independent and don't feel as though their Mommy is being
taken away from them with a new sibling entering their life.
I would try to not have them too far apart in age though. Having chldren 5 years or more apart they do not have a lot in common with one another.
Although nature sometimes has other plans with the time between children's ages. BUT if you could plan . . . I'd say 3 to 4 years apart is the best. Of course, that is just my opinion. But I do think your husband will be more cooperative if he has a couple of years to absorb being a Daddy with the first baby before having to think about baby #2.

to all that have postes thanks, I made a miss print with my original post, my son is almost 9 months old now he was 6 months with original post and then was 8 months when i reposted....

not to brag but we where extremely lucky our son is not overwhelming, he has actually been a wonderful first baby.... he has slept 12-13 hours every night from day one we have never had any trouble getting him to eat he has a very healthy appitite. lol and genrally a very very happy baby....

In my opinion i do NOT like large age gaps I prefer them to be closer together so I definatley don't want to be waiting for my son to be 2 and half years old, My sister in-law has 3 beautiful babies 7 (feb), 5 (6 in Aug) and 3 (4 in Sep) between first 2 there is 18 months to the day and between the last 2 there 2, years to the day I like this I know it is now not possible to have 18 months age gap but thats okay..


we own a home, my husband works and we also have a buisiness that we run so we are finacially sound to have a second.

all though i see where all you ladys are coming from i was really looking for advice how to talk to him about it to find out things like why he's not ready ect not to just drop the subject with him.

we do plan and it is not possible for us to have a oopys daisy baby as i and hubby are all about planning and organising.

I agree with the other ladies. While it's good to always have a plan and talk things through, your husband might need time before he's ready for that. I love my children to death, and I would love to have more in the future, but not if my husband is not ready for it.


Have you tried asking him why he doesn't want another child? Is he truly happy with just one or is it somethinng more to it? If he really is just happy with one child than as a mother and a wife, you have to respect that.

Any relationship deals with compromises and not everyone involved is going to be happy 100% of the time. Yes, he shouldn't have agreed to having more than 1 child when he married you, but it's also unfair to him if you force the issue on him.

If you're son is only 9mo right now, than that's plenty of time for you to conceive and have another child in a 2-3yr age gap. Maybe he just needs time to get used to the idea. Forcing him into it or threatning to leave him, or anything like that isn't the best way to go about IMO. Doing something like that or "trapping" him into having another child can make him resent the baby and even you and your son. You deserve to be happy in your marriage but doesn't he deserve to be happy too? I really do see your point in wanting a big family but if he doesn't want the same thing then there's nothing you can really do besides respect his wishes.


I think you should just talk to your husband and let him know your feelings about the subject. If he still doesn't want another child than I don't know what to tell you other than to not force him into anything. I wish you the best of luck with everything.