OK, I want your ladies opinions on this. I am probably being mad and unreasonable, but I can't help from thinking this.

I grew up as an only child with my dad. My mum left my family when I was 2. To be frank, I'm glad I never grew up with a mum. I was the only kid I knew in boarding school who didn't have an annoying mum calling me every day to ask "how's your day?" or "what did you learn today?" or any other typical mother questions. I never had a mum who seemed to want to know every detail of my day and life like all my friends did. Their mothers tried to tell them what they could or couldn't do or whatever. Instead I had a dad who's much more like my friend. My dad called me about once or twice a week to make sure I was still alive as he put it and never pried into my life. Still being 19 and on my own he doesn't try to dictate my life or tell me how to do things. I can come to him for advice on anything and if I don't take it, it's never an I-told-you-so situation. It seems like out of all my friends, none of have that. Even though we are adults, on our own, their mums still treat them like they are 5 and it's constantly fighting. I was always told by others, they were jealous I didn't have that because that's how ALL mums are.

Being a mum now to my darling 13.5 month old, I fear I'm going to be one of those mums. I don't want to be. I have no desire to control her life. I've been told by friends and other mums too bad, it's a mum thing. Am I over thinking this?? My dad says I'm just being crazy.

Since you didn't have one, you don't know that those crazy things moms do, the micro managing, the prying in to our private lives, just feels like love. Those ones that feel their moms are too much in their lives are the same ones that call their mom every time they break a nail. The ones that say they are jealous would last less than a day before they missed their mom.

You're not crazy, you just have a different perspective. If you don't want to pry into your child's life all the time, it's up to you, but you probably won't be able to help it. As Reena said, it's love; the mothers who do that care and want to know about their children's lives.

You are not being crazy and every mum thinks a lot on how to treat her child. This is because no mum want her child to be hurt or sad. Now what you need to do is when your child grows up start being friendly with him according to his age and give him some space. And try not to interfere in his life much i know that is not possible but to some extent you need to do this.


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