I have 4 kids Riley Kevin(7)Kodie Catherine(5)Parker Ethan(5)Taryn Halie(3)and expecting child Brooklynn Catie.Me and my hubby believe in spanking.I think a few swats with a hand is good.My hubby thinks we should use the paddle that he has.now he wants to get our kids names put on it but I dont even want the paddle what do you think??

I have 6 kids and my wife and i very rarely even consider spanking for punishment although i do recognize it can be an effective deterent. We often threaten to do it but never follow through, the threat is enough for our kids. I myself was never spanked by my parents either. Some kids though might call your bluff so maybe spanking is ok depending on the situation and how hard you do it. I cant stand the thought of hitting one of my children so i wouldnt do it. but to each his own on that issue. I however do not believe in using a paddle or any other object to strike a child with. that is going way too far for me. My grandmother once hit me with a paddle in the back side after a minor infraction and i have never gotten over being hit by her like that. I feel a little hostility towards her whenever she brings that incident up. I didnt deserve to be hit with a hard object, on one does. And to put their names on it seems rather sadistic for lack of a better word at the moment. Its like see this its got ur name on it and i'll beat u with it if you do not obey me. I would never even consider that. I say get rid of that dumb paddle! and if your husband still doesnt want to get rid off it offer to show him how the kids would feel getting smacked by it and give him a good strong wack with it on the back side. Hopefully that ought to disuad him from using a paddle on kids. Sorry i feel i might have been a little rough on you, but its something i feel strongly about.

Spanking, when done out of love and not anger, can be effective in getting your child's attention and letting them know you mean business. We don't spank for every little thing, but when our son has been told not to do something, and continues doing it anyway, we pop him on the side of his upper leg (since he has on a diaper-he is 19 months old). Usually the next time, all we have to say is "no" and he knows to stop after that. We use our hand, but I have heard someone say that our hands should be used for hugging and holding our children, and that when we spank, we should use something different than our hands. I have seen some parents use the paint sticks that you stir paint with- they just pick up one when they're at the store. And some friends of ours drew a stick man on theirs and wrote "Sad Sammy" and that is what they would call it to their daughter when she was misbehaving- "do you want me to get out Sad Sammy?" and she would stop whatever she was doing. I know some people don't believe in spanking at all, but I was spanked as a child with a belt, switch, fly swatter, and yes, it made me upset at the time, but it did not affect me in any way emotionally or anything else. I love my parents and grandparents and we have always been close. They were spanked growing up as well, and they were close to their parents and had great respect for them. My husband grew up the same way, and was close to his dad; everyone I know that was spanked has turned out just fine. The problem with spanking is when it turns into abuse, as when a parent spanks out of anger. You should never swat your child anywhere except on the behind or leg, and never when you are mad. Make sure your child knows why he is getting a spanking, too. There are certainly other forms of punishment that can be effective, also, such as taking away priviledges or time-outs. They don't always work, but it is worth trying different things.

Oh, and about the names on the paddle- I wouldn't recommend that. To me, that is like saying you expect your children to be in trouble if they know their name is on the paddle. I don't like that. And if you do use a paddle, make sure it is not big and bulky because you would not want it to truly hurt them! That is the reason I mentioned the paint stick- because it is small and thin, and it is not going to hurt them with a little swat on the leg. It just gets their attention. Or just continue using your hand if you're more comfortable with that.

i am really against the paddle. where i went to school paddles were still used, and i have scars fro mit.

I do not belive in spanking at all, you are physically harming your child and i would'nt be able to do that. A quite word would'nt go a miss getting down to their level and talking to them like you would talk to anyone else. And putting they're names on it i agree with "happy2bme". I am not judging you are anyone on how you dicipline your children but merely telling you what i belive in.