Me and my husband recently found out our 8 year old daughter is bullying this shy little girl at school, calling her a freak and even sometimes slapping her and dropping her stuff when their alone.. Iv'e been bullied when i was little for being a little shy... that's why this horrifies me. My own daughter is like one of the bullies that bullied me when i was small... I don't think ANY of the teachers or staff knows... i found out the day i came to pick my daughter up from school and they were alone at the far end of the school and my daughter was yelling at the girl. The sight of that girl crying like that broke my heart... it reminded me of when i was bullied. Then as soon as my daughter saw me pulling up, she backed off and came running to my car and got in, she said 'Hi' all cheerfully as if what i had just saw didn't happen... i didn't say anything because i still hadn't processed everything.. Later i told my husband about it and he was speechless as well, [He was never bullied but he hates bullies..] He began disiplining our daughter about how wrong she was being and asked why she was doing it. She just got angry and kicked his leg really hard.. and went straight to her room and just before she shut the door she yelled 'Mind your own fricken buissness you geezers'. Later i started yelling at her and she kept screaming how she hates me, she even said 'Your such a loser, just like that girl at school, don't even get near me'. What do i do? I know this is going to sound terrible of me but im really starting to HATE my daughter... i need help...

Please reply....

wow i can see how you feel. I was one of those quiet girls that was bullied too. first i would tell the school and the quiet girls parents so it can be "monitored". I would also get your child to apologise to the other girl. I think your daughter needs to realise fast what she is doing cos this is the age that bullying can be stopped and the harsh reality is if she dosent stop soon you may have to do more things to unfortunately punish her until she realises that it is not on. You may not want to do this tell her "well maybe i hate you too" and see if she realises what she said to you and your husband is not very nice. That way it isnt telling her you hate her it is showing her that she isnt likable when she is a bully. Is there anybody in your family or friends that could stay at school with her for a couple of days? That way maybe the girl getting bullied can see that something is sbeing done about it. I know this isnt your ideal situation and i hope you get through it as painlessly as possible.

Thank you, youv'e just helped a lot.

Hi there,

I'm a babysitter, and a similar situation has recently occurred with one of my kids who are around the same age. 8 years old brings out the catiness in young girls, and it's getting closer to the start of puberty. I've noticed lots of little girls competing. I hope you don't mind me commenting, but if there is a situation in the family that is making your daughter feel down, hurt, upset, angry, self concsious, any of these things then you must talk to her. This can be resolved, and encourage her to come and talk to you. ChelseyEmmaRose is right, she needs to apologize to that poor little girl. You need to really emphasize that you are there and you will love and support your daughter. By hammering this into her mind so she can spring into adolecence without any flaws in this area, try to ask her as much as possible: "How was school?" "What did you do today?" and if she is feeling self concsious and she tells you so, prompt her to write in her journal:

First page of journal: Positive messages to breathe at bedtime, Calm, good, peace, happy, laugh, dream, hope, etc.

Second page: Write several phrases such as:

I am safe.
I am loved.
I am supported.

Third page: Begin with the date, and the title '3 positive things that happened today'. Here's an example:

1) I helped Sally carry her books to class.

2) I shared my cookies with Tom at recess.

3) I got an A on my math test.

This is a very good thing to do in general, whenever anyone is feeling down. I hope this helps, and your daughter will learn over time, if you establish these rules and ideas.

Once again, hope this helps, and let me know what happens.

-daisies110

I was bullied too, but for differant reasons. I didn't necessarily have a pretty face back then but I had a great hourglass figure. I was hated for that by a lot of girls, and alot of guys told me I had a 'hot body and nice curves' which made me very insecure about my appearance. I used to think I was ugly, and people only saw my curves. The day my husband first kissed me, I was in an oversize t-shirt, ratty jeans and I was (trying) to bake. It took me almost 11 years to get over that. It will take the girl your daughter's bullying as long or longer unless something is done.

Your daughter needs to be shown how she looks when she's bullying someone. Can you get soemone to tape her bullying the girl? If so, make her watch it over and over till it sinks that she is a mean person. If that doesn't help, no offense, but maybe your daughter needs to see a shrink to talk out her problems!