Today when I woke up this morning I got up and noticed I had a new voicemail so I went to go check it and it was a nurse saying I needed to come in ASAP. So I rushed there and the nurse told me that there afraid Shea has bleeding in the cerebal part in her brain. Well they did some tests and found out that wasn't the issue, . They didn't know what's wrong with her and they thought it might be a gland issue. So than they ran more test and saw that she had some bleeding in her brain (not cerebal though)and it's effects are stopable and there not major now and don't show an immediate effect but if she has any chance at a normal life she'll have to get this surgery done and there's a huge chance she'll be blind and about 30% chance she could die. I'm so scared!!!!!
I'm going through all of this alone. Ryan's at work and I feel like I just can't take it. They tried to out way the bad news with the good news that Ella is sufficiantly suckling and can do bottles and breast feeding now instead of the tube but it's so unfair (I know it sounds immature) but why are my babies the one's that are sick. What did I do? I feel like such a horriable person. I thought I took care of myself while I was pregnant.

Natalia im praying for you guys! you'll get through this!! and sometimes it just doesnt matter how well you took care of yourself im sure it helped but its not your fault, dont blame yourself! Shea will pull through this, babies are very strong!

Natalia you didnt do anything wrong! sometimes this is the way things happen & these are the things that define you & everyone on here knows you can do it & i will be praying for SHea

Natalia do not blame yourself, you did nothing wrong. DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP. Sometimes these things happen and there is no explanation as to why they happen. Hang in there.

Shea will be fine!!! Her name means graceful, free, courageous which has got to count for something. Im sure Ryan would be able to take time off work for this and you did nothing wrong and you are not a horrible parent you are an excellent parent. you worry about them and fret about them which only a great parent can do. And congrats with Ella she sounds like she is doing well. With pre-mature babies one usually is quite a bit slower than the other. I was pre-mature by 2 months and when i was 3 days old i went into anaphalactic shock after having a seisure and i was determined for death but i pulled through and the only defects i have are small hands and 7% deafness which is nothing so SHEA WILL BE FINE!!!

I'm so sorry that you and your daughters have had to go through all of this. You're right- it isn't fair, but u can't blame yourself at all. I am not religious but I do believe in poitive thinking and energy and whatnot. I will keep little Shea in my thoughts today. Try to keep the best outcome in the forefront of your mind and hang in there.