I'm not sure if this is really the place to bring this up, but my cousin wanted me to post something on here for her.

She told me that she's really concerned about dating and boys, because she's thirteen years old, and she said that apparently a lot of her friends have boy friends, are dating people, or have kissed someone. She also said that a lot of their parents have rules that they can't date until they're sixteen (although my aunt doesn't) and she even said that she's afraid that by the time she's sixteen she'll be the only one left single, and she hasn't even had her first kiss yet.

I talked to her more about it, and she told me that she's usually shy around people she's just met, which makes it hard for her to make new friends, and she's also extremely shy around anyone that she even remotely likes. She said that she thinks she's overweight, and is afraid that people won't want to try and get to know her because of what she looks like.

I'm really hoping that someone can help her and I out. She's talked about it with her mom, but my aunt went to an private girls only boarding school, and so has really no insight. Oh, I should probably add that my cousin just started high school.

Any help, advice, kind words, whatever would be greatly appreciated! I think she's just having a hard time and really wants to be liked, even though I've told her that people who like her for who she is won't care what she looks like.

Thank you, thank you.

to be honest with you. tell your cousin everyone is beautiful in there own ways and if people are nasty towards people then they are not worth trying to spend time with. i left school 2 years go and have no friends at all still. i got my first boyfriend 2 years ago who really loves me and now we are having a baby. this little girl sounds like me when i was her age. just tell her not to worry and not to rush into a relationship as the perfect man/ boy will find her when the time is right and as for friends. true friends don't care what you look like. as she will get older her shyness will disapear just like mine did. tell her to be strong worked for me

"She told me that she's really concerned about dating and boys, because she's thirteen years old, and she said that apparently a lot of her friends have boy friends, are dating people, or have kissed someone. She also said that a lot of their parents have rules that they can't date until they're sixteen (although my aunt doesn't) and she even said that she's afraid that by the time she's sixteen she'll be the only one left single, and she hasn't even had her first kiss yet."

She can start whenever the time is right for her. She shouldn't be concerned with what's in, tell her to dance to the beat of her own drum, in other words, don't care what other people think or do. She needs to do what's best for her and only she knows when she's comfortable with doing something. From my own experiences, peer pressure can have a big effect on people, and she shouldn't let it get to her, hense the fact that she needs to hang with people that accept her for who she is and make her feel good about herself.

"I talked to her more about it, and she told me that she's usually shy around people she's just met, which makes it hard for her to make new friends, and she's also extremely shy around anyone that she even remotely likes. She said that she thinks she's overweight, and is afraid that people won't want to try and get to know her because of what she looks like."

You know, many many women have their good friends from high school and still are tight. Ask your mom, or ask her to ask hers, I bet she'll say similar things. It's so common for young girls to feel uncomfortable about themselves, especially in the weight area, and this is often shown in media. She has to remember that everyone is going to bring different things to the table at this point and no one will be the same. She will most definitely find a group of people that accept her and love her. It's for sure. High school is a time for a fresh start, and it's up to her to have the confidence to meet new people, and discover new things. She also needs to be reminded that she is definitely not alone, as it is a fact that at least 70 to 80 percent of girls in her new school are probably experiencing similar things.

There's a wise expression I heard once, and that is "There will always be people better than me, there will always be people worse than me, and there will be people that are the same as me, but, why does it matter? The only person I need to compete with is me." This is a good expression for her to think about, and really consider it.

I hope this helps her.

lemonicegelato

I wish she had an account i would love to talk to her she sounds like me tell her im 14 & i havent ever been on a date or kissed a guy & make sure she understands if someone cant get past what you look like on the outside then they probally wouldnt have been a good friend anyways! That has been told to me so much since i was a little kid & the about the shyness i have the exact same problem you just have to take a deep breath walk over & say hi

Thanks so much to everyone who has replied!

kirstnbert: Thank you, I'll be sure to pass on what you've said to her.

lemonicegelato: I really love what you said about dancing to the beat of your own drum, I've heard the expression a lot, but I've never really thought about it. I'll be sure to let my cousin know all about what you said.

Kellymh: Thank you so much, I'll try and encourage her to get an account on here, it sounds like you two might have a lot in common. It really is all about just going up to people and saying Hi to them, I guess, but even that can be really hard at times.

Once again, thank you, thank you.

It can be hard it can be so hard almost everytime