Lately I've been growing very jealous. Everytime I see someone with a healthy baby I cry a bit inside, when I see a pregnant woman (like very pregnant) I feel very envious and I just want to scream.

This morning when I went out for exercise I saw a lady with a baby in a stroller and I struck up conversation with her and she started talking about how her baby was 8lbs when he was born and I grew angry, both my girls combined right now don't even weigh that much.
I was talking to a nurse and she was saying that once you see some of the babies at the Children's hospital that I won't be jealous because those babies are really messed up but still that's so sad!

Shea is still in isolation and has quite a bit of tubes attached to her but at the children's hospital I saw a baby that was 6 months old and he'd already had 50 surgeries, he was born with his heart like outside his body (not quite to that extent but it was something like that). I feel so bad for Shea and all the other little premie babies.

Now Shea's at one hospital and Ella's at the other. It's very difficult to go back and forth but Ella is 4 lbs and 3 oz so she'll be home very soon.

I'm so sorry you are going through this

Just try to be thankful that you have two beautiful girls who will someday be healthy and home with their mommy. Some women never experience that.

Don't know that it's okay, but I think it's very normal. You are tired, anxious, overburdened (with visiting 2 hospitals & most likely the expense). I would be overwhelmed at the thought of twins. You are probably a bit angry too. You need to take time for yourself - - yes, even as hard as it sounds. It may only be a quiet soak in the tub. Think about all the good in your life and about how lucky you are to have what you have. Thank God for all you have and for all your many blessings. After all, you survived. You are functioning. You have support in all of us here if nothing else. I know it isn't easy, but life never is. I can guarantee you that. In fact, if life is too easy, you are probably not reaching far enough. When you see the other children, instead of feeling resentful think that one day your little ones will be like that. You will be at the playground. You will be pulling your hair out at their getting into everything and never being quiet. LOL It's all good, Honey, and it will get better, but it will never be easier. I raised my 3 children alone, have 4 grandchildren and 6 ggchildren. It's always hard and no one has all the answers and there are no do-overs. Every child and grandchild has said, "I wish I had listened to (you, or Mom)" so there is a purpose and a reward in that they learn - eventually. Keep God in your heart and in your life and you will have all the answers you need. Good Luck!

I think it's very natural for you to be feeling jealous and envious about this, so long as it doesn't affect your reactions to people and the way you are with them. Not saying you'd be horrible but, it's also natural for people to react differentl when they're feeling emotional etc.x

i know how u are feeling i feel jelous every time ileave or walk into the hosp n see parents leaving with theur baby and i know i have to leave without my babies...

Jealousy is a very natural feeling especially in rough times like your own. Everyone is jealous about something and to be honest with you I dont blame you for how you feel. I know that if I was in the same situation I would be having the same feelings. I went through it with my friends babies and that was hard, then almost with my own but luckily they stopped my labor. But still its a very emotional time and everyone with a sick child wishes that they were normal and healthy. Dont worry Im sure Shae will pull through like a champion and be home with you soon. I know its hard but be grateful for the children that are healthy and not having to go through what Shae and Ella are going through. But it will make you and them stronger in the long run. I think that when people go through this it makes them appreciate their babies more because you know first hand how precious they are to you. Good luck and I hope all is well soon.