I made a mistake and got pregnant when I was 19. I was so not ready to be a parent but an abortion was not an option. So for the last five years I have been trying to fit into a role that isn't me. My heart isn't into parenting. Majority of the time I don't want to be bothered by my kids. They're becoming more of a nuisance to me and more of a burden. I've become meaner to them because I resent them even though it's my own fault why they are here. I am physically and verbally abusive to them.

For a long time I have thought about leaving them. Their father could raise them on his own. He has patience of a saint and he loves the hell out of his kids. He is the father that I didn't have as a child. We have two girls and he can even do their hair so much better than I can. I think my kids would be better off without me. I don't plan to just disappear on them. I'll be around. I think I should get my stuff together and grow up and then see if they still want me to be their mother.

Tell me what y'all think. Please be honest, don't sugar coat anything. The truth hurts but I can deal with it.

Thanx

Honest?

You need to be less selfish. You had children, it was your choice to have sex and you have to deal with the consequences.

Your life isn't about you anymore, thinking that is it is being very selfish. You should still have time for you, of course, but it doesn't revolve around you anymore, it revolves around your kids.

Practice patience. Don't worry so much and just love them and be the best mom you can be. Many, many others have done it, so can you.

Maybe don't start with love but with care. Spend some quality time wiht them, but don't expect anything but their respect too soon. Give yourself some time to adjust yourself. Don't think about the negative or the resent but htink of them as your children who you must help. It's your job to guide and protect them, but if that means taking some time for yourself that's fine too. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You said their father will be there and loves them dearly, try to learn from him perhaps. You could even get some outside help in any way you think you might need it. Just give it time to sink in properly and focus on the right thing and just be there for them if that's all you can do at first. Love and maternal instics aren't there for everyone, it can take time, but you're not alone. Good luck!
x

My Mom left me and my two sisters and I hate her for it. She was still around and got us on the weekends but everything was about her and still is. We grew up being her parent instead of her being ours. Now she is doing the same thing to my little sister and brother she had after she divorced my dad....Suck it up and stop being so selfish...You have babies to care for and love its not about you anymore...You should have closed your legs while you were ahead of yourself...sorry to be so blunt and rude but seriously those babies need you more than you need them....I cant believe people sometimes...you have beautiful healthy children and you just want to leave them?? I couldnt imagine not being with my daughter every single day its a scary thought....they need you!!!!!!!

Try some counseling. Talk to somebody about what you are feeling. Stop the abuse imidiately and get some help. If you need to pull away for a while to get the abuse under control than do it. Tell your husband what is going on and that you want help. Tell your children what is going on and that you want help. Your children need to know that the abuse is not their fault, it is yours and you love them and want help to stop. Please, please, get some help. Call an abuse hot line, anything.

Abandoning your kids will only make them hate you, i know what would i know i'm just a child, but as personal experience of someone who lives with me who was left by his mother, it only generates anger inside the child.
If you leave your daughters they'll hate you for the rest of their lives.
I agree with what everyone said so far, you need to STOP thinking about yourself.

Sorry i am just being honest.