he has just completely through me off because he was fine with Rachel. The only thing was he was scared to hold her. He knew i had run out of birth control and that there was a chance i could get pregnant. I think his mom is putting ideas in his head and making him think stupid things...she has a way of doing that if she isnt getting her way.

rachelsmommy wrote:

QUOTE:
he has just completely through me off because he was fine with Rachel. The only thing was he was scared to hold her. He knew i had run out of birth control and that there was a chance i could get pregnant. I think his mom is putting ideas in his head and making him think stupid things...she has a way of doing that if she isnt getting her way.

The evil mother in-law, yes I know the kind. Just tell him that it is too late now. You do not want an abortion and you just have to carry on with the pregnancy. Have a big chat: how cute Rachel would be helping out and loving the new baby, how much fun it would be for them to grow up. This is a really, really tough one. I guess you're just going to have to ride it out if you've already made up your mind to keep the baby. I guess all you can really do is wait and see what he does.

Best of luck
Paula

Im sorry to hear about your hubby. 9 years ago I was in the same position you are in. We had a beautiful 1 year old and got pregnant with another. He was planned but then after I got pregnant the so called father said he didnt want another child. I gave him a week and brought up the pregnacy again, after he told me to abort it because he didnt want it. I asked him if that was his decision and he said yes, I packed up my daughter and left. Never looked back. Now I have found a new love, been married for 4 years and have 3 children. The sperm donor of my two oldest doesnt want to see them and makes no effort to see them. We were better off with out him. I am not saying for you to leave him god know it is hard, but if you feel that he will hold this baby over you for a long time, that is not the kind of environment to bring a baby into, so you have to look at all of you options and make a decsion from there. But in my experience if he doesnt want the baby when it is just created the is a good chance he wont want the baby when it is here and he has to look at him/her everyday.

I dont mean to be mean, i tell it how it is so please dont take offence.

Hi, I really wish you and yours the best! As others have said, we don't know you or your husband or the complete situation, so hopefully we can give good advice. First and foremost, I also would advise you to NEVER get an abortion! There is something so sacred about just being born and getting a body and living on earth. Yes, even if your life sucks, you have problems, you die early, whatever. Don't kill this precious unborn baby and have that guilt the rest of your life and/or eternity. Now about your husband...wow, this is the really tricky part. Ideally, he should grow up, accept reality and his duties, and be loving and supportive in the process. Like others have said, try to find out what is making him tick so horribly concerning this situation. Remind him that thousands of others have had children that weren't "planned" and that things will work out well/as they are supposed to and that this baby is a person who will love him and look up to him. Also, it's so nice for a child to have a sibling. Rachel will be a great big sister. If you can save your marriage and keep this baby in the family, that would be wonderful. Surely he could come around even if you guys decide one or both of you will get fixed right after the baby is born. A family of four, he gets snipped, and you do whatever, and voila, no more surprises...he can plan the rest of his life around the four of you. Hopefully it won't come to divorce, but if he is suggesting you murder a baby and is so selfish over racing or whatever it was, sometimes you have to do what you have to do. And, I am hardly ever in agreement with divorce. I basically say there's no excuse unless there's infidelity (in which case I would still hope repentance and forgiveness could prevail), or, of course, serious abuse (which could possibly happen here). I really hope he comes around and finds out what life is about: the love you share and the offspring from it; family, support, etc. Best wishes to you and yours, and keep us posted!

im sorry to hear that i dont know how you feel my mother-in-law loves me as her own but i feel so bad that you have to go threw that but i hope it gets better well good luck Catilyn