I live at my partner's house 3-4 days a week. My son, Noah... 15 weeks old, and I both stay in his room. (he has a big room lol)
On his walls he has about 20 posters of almost naked girls. I have been asking im for weeks and weeks to take them down, but all i get is "We're not married, you can't tell me what I can put on my walls!" We had been going so well until I brought it up. We were talking about marriage and we've been trying to move out when we get more money together so we have a very stable financial situation. Anyway, he doesn't listen to me. I've said things like
"It isn't a very good influence on Noah, even though he doesnt understand yet"
"He shoudnt want them there now he has a son... and because he has a partner... me..."
"I find it very disrespectful and i'm disappointed he wont take them down"

How can I make him see it's not good enough? I got so upset tonight and told him I dont want to marry him anymore because he is more interested in what he wants, I wont go stay with him until theyre gone and i cant be with someone who doesnt respect me i dont want to mess it up even more, i just want him to be a father and partner and grow up

Right now I don't know what to tell you (gotta go soon), except pray very hard. Is he implying that he's going to magically start "listening to you" when you get married or have another place together? Maybe he will, since it's both of you working on that, but men are interesting creatures. He definitely has some growing up to do if that's all over his walls. I think a lot of men still look at stuff like that later/when they're "more grown up", but they just hide it. More later.......best wishes.

Men will look at naked chicks, fact of life. While he is out of the room, make some little paper bikini's for his naked chicks and put them on with pushpins. That way, if he wants to take them off when you are not around, he can, but while you are there, you don't have to be face to face with bare monkey.

men like to see pix of naked ladies- fact of life but:

If you think it's disrespectful and that he's ignoring your hurt feelings and have told him this and he still has the "I dont care" attitude you can expect that to continue until the end of time if the buck doesn't stop here. If you allow him to treat your feelings as unimportant, he will always do so. It wont change when you get married or as your child grows and the challenges of parenting become more difficult. It will get worse unless a major change is made early on.

I would recommend that if you do have other safe and stable housing options for you and your child tell darling BF that the two of you will not be spending one more minute in that room until he respects you and your feelings and shows it by solving the nudy poster issue (then: FOLLOW THROUGH AND ACTUALLY STAY AWAY NO MATTER WHAT KIND OF TANTRUM HE THROWS).

Sometimes when you draw a line in the sand and stick to it shows the true colors of all involved.....

Good Luck!

I agree with the previous posts, also to hammer the message home, why not buy him some posters with some of his other interests (sports cars, exotic locations, his favorite band, etc.) It will still give the room his personality, just in a G rated fashion. Hope that helps. Good Luck!

Bexie_08 wrote:

QUOTE:
Men will look at naked chicks, fact of life. While he is out of the room, make some little paper bikini's for his naked chicks and put them on with pushpins. That way, if he wants to take them off when you are not around, he can, but while you are there, you don't have to be face to face with bare monkey.

Haha. I totally support this idea. I made a naked lady collage for a friend once and he put it up on his wall, but then his grandma came in while we were gone and drew panties on them with a sharpie. LOL.

Anyway, if he is not respecting you that is definitely a problem and I don't blame you for having your feelings hurt by it. Alisamber is right in saying that you should pray hard. Do what you can to keep the relationship together, you don't want Noah to grow up with a broken family like everyone else.