I agree with Seasson, and I am the same type of mom. I also expect them to respect my rules as long as they live in my house. Obviously the rules evolve with them as they grow and become more responsible.

Actually, I agree with Seaasons as well. You know what really sets me off, is if I am in a restaurant, and theres a small child, and the waitress is there to take our orders, and the mom then asks the child what she wants, the kid is ummmmming and awwing, not deciding, and takes forever, yet the mom does not take control, and order the food she thinks the child should be eating. That really upsets me. This kid is 3 years old. That, to me, is not a negotiation time - when it inconveniences others, and the waitress does not have to waste her time with this child play. To me, that makes the parent look BAD. Since when do 3 year olds run the world, and who put the child into the control position. When did this happen in our society????

I would negotiate with my sons on these issues: which extracurricular sports they wanted to enroll in - if they wanted piano lessons or not, which parka to buy when we went clothes shopping, the color of their bedroom walls, the style of their hair, where they wanted to sit when they were doing their homework, which dishes they chose when they set the table, what color of toothbrush they wanted, I chose the toothpaste, what courses they selected, in highschool, the car schedule (I had 3 sons)- now, its which shed you park your motorcycle in for the winter, which couch he wants/gets for his apartment, which vehicle he can borrow, how much money he really needs from me.

See, when they are little, you have little issues, and when they grow up, you deal with grown up problems.

- Genevra

Really, the only time negotiation comes in is with things that I believe should be their choice. (Well, Eli's choice, Miranda isnt exactly at speaking age yet, let alone negotiations)

What sports he plays
What other extra curriculars he participates in (I was forced to play trumpet when I was his age, I have no clue why, my mum just wanted me to play the horrid thing, I used to cry during every lesson)
What gets put in his lunch box (now, thats not saying "Here Eli, you can have chocolate and chips etc etc", he has choices, "Eli, do you want an apple, banana or peach today?" "Would you like a cheese and tomato sandwich or a tuna sandwich?" )
What his room looks like (Not mess wise, decoration wise, my mum decorated my room untill I moved out and I hated her for it, I was an uber-cool 16yr old with my lilac bedroom with lavendar printed curtains. When we buy a new bedspread or have to put in new curtains and such, he gets to pick them, after all, he's the one who sleeps in there)