Yes, I agree with all of these ladies. Once the trust is gone, it is very difficult to get back. We all have "deal breakers" and I think you are dealing with one of yours, but are satiated with the behavior, and blatant disrespect he shows you. Also, I feel that he is now throwing God in your face, and using God and the Bible, Forgive thing, to put all the blame/responsibility back onto you. Guys like this, will continue to do whatever the hell they want, and his goal is to make you feel as bad as he possibly can. And, his verbal abuse, is destroying your psyche, confidance, self-esteem. He will not be happy, until he sees you crouched in the corner crying, then he will rationalize that he has every right to do as he does, because, look at you now, crying and crouched down. Im sorry to be so negative sounding, but behavior such as this, just infuriates me. I have lived it as well, and I strongly advise you to listen to your inner voice, and focus on your children. You have to do whats best for your kids - and if he is unable to watch the children, so you can go to appointments, or do shopping, he cannot be trusted. Once trust is gone, so is the relationship. In your eyes, you see him as the opposition, not a support/comfort, so emotionally, and physically your body will shut off to him, and really, he is root of all this, however will not take responsibility, nor change. Leave him, with all his porn and magazines in the bed, and leave him a note, saying you are sure these will give him all the comfort he needs. Let someone else deal with this shi___! You've had enough!

Woman mature, but some guys stay stagnant, and imagine your life with this guy 10 years from now, with him still doing what he is doing, only your 14 year old will be trying to get dad to go see his baseball game, but dad is glued to these da___m naked pictures.

I know, everyone will be hating on me again, for saying what I know, and I only have concern and understanding for what you are going through. God would not want you to live like this, nor for your angels to be exposed to this either - this man is not like Jesus, at all. Don't listen, when he is using religion to control you. Thats such BS! I used to be married to a pastor - for 11 yrs. I have heard it all, when it comes to submission, control.

- Genevra

Karilina- I'm sorry you are going through this I caught my husband looking at porn a few years ago...it is soooo painful. Thankfully he knew it was wrong and stoped that day (we also installed an internet thing where I would get an email with all the websites he visited). If he would have continued viewing porn even though he knows it is adultry...sigh, I don't know...I love him, but I would probably seperate from him.

I am sorry again

Thanks to everyone who has responded! It really gave me alot of insight. I want to make a few things clear though! I'm not that ingnorant to put this issue in front of my children. I love my children and would never subject them to this!! I misrepresenting God in any way. My point was that I know all about forgiveness and he has just been introduced to forgiveness within the past few months. I'm not saying that I can't/won't forgive my husband, I'm just stating that I'm not at that point yet! I'm not sure that he's willing to wait around for me to get to that point. He's getting frustrated with my feelings and how long (6 months) it's taking me to try and heal.

In any manner, I respect all of your feedback and love knowing that I have a little support on here. Genevra just about nailed it hte bast though. Thank you so much for sharing a part of your story and giving me a little guidance.

My husband and I are going to have a long talk about this tonight once the kids go to bed. I'm hoping for a mature and respectable outcome whatever that may be! We are two adults and seem to have great conflicting conversations when we don't agree on something. Our problem is that we have great talks, but nothing seems to change for any length of time.

Once again, THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!!

XOXOXO
Karilina

My first marriage ended in part because of his addiction to pornography ( there were a multitude of other things, but he was an all around jerk). If there are no other major issues and you feel you can eventually work through this then I would highly suggest counseling again. This time go to help rebuild trust and communication. It sounds like the issue is disrespect. He disrespected you by looking at porn and now he is disrespecting your feelings and need for support to recover from this. He may not realize what he needs to do or why you're having such a hard time moving forward. Have you tried explaining what you need without getting emotional or confrontational? I know I have a hard time with this so that's why I ask. I know this is incredibly hard and having a neutral person like a counselor may help.